UFO in KOLKATA, India

A wave of mass hysteria has gripped Kolkata. Aliens are threatening to swoop down on 'Shonar Bangla' (City of Gold). Bengalis are waiting to embrace them and welcome them with 'Rashogulla' (an Indian delicacy prepared out of curdled milk). The political parties have joined the cause. To facilitate nightwatch a bandh (Mass-Strike) was reportedly organised, so that kolkatans can sleep during the day and go alien spotting during the night People have shifted their beds on top of their roofs. community dinners of macher jhol and bhaat are being organised on large scales on world famous ‘the Maidan’, all in hope of catching a glimpse of some flying saucers carrying aliens.Reportedly, thieves and crooks from all over India are gathering in Kolkata to make hay while unidentified objects shine and hover over Kolkata. CPI Government in West Bengal has started preparing itself for any eventuality. A special alien-mitra-mandal committee has been formed to make arrangements for any emergency landings by the aliens, so that our neighbours from other world could feel at home in Kokata. Ordinary residents are also working overtime to lobby with Indian Government to award Bharat-Ratna to the first alien ever to drop by Planet earth. Of course, Bengali Bhadra-lok are proud of themselves, since the aliens have chosen 'sonar bangla' as the place for a elusive sojourn. Some Bengali chauvinists even claim that this event will settle the issue of Bengali superiority once and for all. In Delhi, sources in Rail Bhavan have informed (on condition of anonymity) that the Rail Minister Lalu Prasad Yadav is hopping mad at aliens for ignoring madhepura, his home constituency for a crash landing. He has alleged that CPI and Nitish Kumar have worked overtime to steal a great honour from Bihar. He even showed pictures to his staff of models of space-crafts and aliens being used as themes in Pujo Pendals as evidence of communist pscophancy. Rabri Devi, on the other hand, has complained that her flock of much-pampered 'gaiyas' (cows), who were already producing less milk, due to their father Laluji giving more time to railway, have stopped producing milk because aliens have chosen Kolkata instead of their air-conditioned residence. She is worried that her brood of nine-ten kids and two son-in-laws would suffer badly due to the lack of milk supply. At CPI (M) headquarters, leaders are singing a completely tune from their Bengali counterparts. Party spokesperson A.B. Bardhan has revealed that Manmohan Singh has signed a secret deal with the Aliens in Kolkata and compromised India's position in the whole universe.The party has promised that it will thwart any effort by congress or allies to surrender the sovereignty of our country to foreign super powers. Party president Prakash Karat has vowed to withdraw support from the UPA Government if it signed any agreement with the aliens for nuclear or other mysterious powers. A response from BJP is still awaited as the party is busy in Gujarat and Karnatka. VHP has chastised its BJP leaders fro letting this golden opportunity go abegging. VNP leader Vinay Katiyar has announced that VHP will try to engage the aliens in a meaningful dialogue based on Hinu Traditions and make sure that the aliens convert to Hinduism. Special Janeyus (sacred thread) have bene ordered by the party from Benaras fro a mass Yagopavit ceremony to be organised for the aliens upon their arrival. Ambani brothers are involved in a fierce tussle to start a new stock exchange in Aliens' burgeoning capital market. Both are offering handsome incentives to the aliens to this end. Industrialist Vijay Mallaya, on the other hand, is planning to throw the grandest welcome party for the esteemed guests from outer space at Arab-Al-Burj. Brittany Spears and Paris Hilton are expected to join the party. They have requested a special on-to-one or one-two-three meeting with the aliens. Mallaya is also planning to sign a MoU with the aliens to provide world class Air Hostesses trained at KINGFISHER ACADEMY, Mumbai. Ahead of the release of his film OSO, Shahrukh Khan has chalked out an extensive strategy to promote his film in the alien lands. In an exclusive interview he said, 'I want to take Bollywood to another level. OSO will show to the aliens that we may not act well, but we can still dance at their most expensive weddings.' Farah Khan was quoted as saying that Shahrukh has already made 50 crores before the release of the film and he will surely make another 50 billions from the sale of the extra-terrestrial distribution rights. when quizzed about why Sharukh Khan has refused to work for her husband Shirish Kunder, she said without batting an eyelid that Sharukh was waiting for the right opportunity and the right audience. She has promised that Shirish's project starring Shahrukh will be a sure-shot hit in alien territories amongst a more intelligent and superior audience amongst the aliens. The last word on the issue has been received from Condoleeza Rice. Her press Secretary has announced in a briefing that top secret documents available with the CIA clearly show that OSAMA BIN LADEN has sneaked away to the planet of apes on a spacecraft stolen from the sets of latest George Lukas' Star War sequel. In an exclusive interview with Jay Leno on Tonight Show, when Jay Leno quizzed George Bush Osama's escape to a Galaxy 'far far away,' Bush reiterated his firm belief in the war against terrorism. He promised that he'll will 'smoke 'em out' even if it means packing away a million American armed soldiers on a hot pursuit. When Leno reminded that Bush's term would come to an end in 2008, Bush winked at the cameras and said that 'that's my retirement plan buddy... I'll go to the farthest corner of the universe to kill that son-of-a-***(GUN).' When reminded that Universe in limitless and there are no corners, George winked at Leno and quipped 'Come to my ranch and I'll show you one'.

Modi is the Hero of Hindus????

Just saw the 'breaking news' on Aaj Tak, a leading Hindi news channel. The channel with the help of Tehelka.com have recorded statements of some of the alleged masterminds behind the Gujarat riots. Thew is really disturbing; timing of the broadcast is definitely smells of mischief. Gujarat elections are to be held soon. Due to a total banckruptcy of ideas, all the political parties are trying to create storms out of thin air. Narendra Modi is determined to guard his turf as ferociously as a lioness guarding her cubs. Congress wants to recover lost ground, and as history has proven time and again it has no scruples. Congress will stop at nothing to get the power back in Gujarat. Tehelka's role has been really suspicious in most of its so called stings. Its reports have always found easy and willing victims in form of dubious leaders from one party, time and again. The reportage is more sensational and less investigative. As the night grows darker, the traffic on roads in Mumbai is trying to ebb away. Last week has seen a sudden rise in traffic on highways, Trucks laden with unkown goods are plying fiercely. In general, air is getting murkier. I am really scared, with this sudden turn of events. Why do we need to exhumes ghosts from pasts - journalism, in the course of carrying out its rightful duty, is walking a dangerous line. You should see the captions to the news flashed across the TV screens on the subject I have broached. We know that Lawlessness has set in deep roots in Indian society. Gujrat, Maharashtra, Assam and all other parts of the country, where religious mistrust is smouldering like a fuse tied to a nuclear device, are all waiting to explode. The worst part is that we seem to have accepted this lawlessness as the essence of modern Indian ethos. Voices of protest are muted and rare. As a society we seem to rely more on sensationalism as mode of communication rather than engaging in sincere progressive dialogue. Shameless hedonism and hunger for power has converted people of this countries into nothing more than a pack of wolves waiting to pounce on the first innocent pray. Self-respect, empathy, real courage and enterprise are sadly absent in the people of a country, which aspire to be a super power. Whether Modi is a hero for Hindus or not is irrelevant. I am wooried about the utter chaos and anarchy that has been prevailing in the heart of modern Inian metropolises. People can commint any crimes and they can get away with it. Theft, murder, rape and all sorts of crime are being legitimised by a behemoth of a 'Law & Order' machinery. We haven't had any major wars or massacres in last fifty years as compared to the preceeding eras. I fear, the time is not far when we'll be turned into mass-murderers. Mayhem is waiting to be unleahed in every neighborhood. We'll be killing our friends and relatives, not very far ahead in the future. Fratricide is what I am scraed of not the Genocide. Hold my hand and pray if you can. We need more believers in this world. People who follow their faiths and yet trust & respect the beliefs of others.

Yoga Vs Placebo

Placebo: Placebo effect is the term applied by medical science to the therapeutical and healing effects of inert medicines and/or ritualistic or faith healing manipulations.[1] [2]. When referring to medicines, placebo is a preparation which is pharmacologically inert but which may have a therapeutical effect based solely on the power of suggestion. It may be administered in any of the ways in which pharmaceutical products are administered.[3] Regarding procedures drawing on the placebo effect, psychic surgery and faith healing are two possible examples. - from Wikipedia Yoga: Yoga (Sanskrit: योग Yoga, IPA: [joːgə]) is a group of ancient spiritual practices originating in India. As a general term in Hinduism[1] it has been defined as referring to "technologies or disciplines of asceticism and meditation which are thought to lead to spiritual experience and profound understanding or insight into the nature of existence."[2] Yoga is also intimately connected to the religious beliefs and practices of the other Indian religions. - from Wikipedia When Baba Ramdev burst on the TV screens three years ago, like many others, I was really sceptical of him and his modus operandi. Before Baba Ramdev took upon himself to sell Yoga to millions of Indians, my first thoughts were that he is a rogue and I ignored all the news relating to him. Gradually, he became so pervasive that it was impossible to overlook the obvious fact - people were beginning to become really health conscious, and it looked like that Yoga, as a practise, is beginning to get the respect it deserves. To begin with, everyone knows what Yoga can do to your health. However, for westerners, yoga is nothing more than physical exercise - which is perfectly fine and reasonable. Only thing wrong in western view point is that whenever they think about yoga or other oriental quasi-spiritual practises they tend to associate these with spiritual miracle; without really understanding the basic concept. For us, Indians, Yoga is a legacy of our glorious past. We have conveniently chosen to consign Yoga to books. Yoga is something sages practise. It is only after Ramdev's ascent as a modern age visionary that we have realised obvious benefits of Yoga; which is great!

So what did Ramdev did which others couldn't?

Iyengar took Yoga to west and still has thousands if not millions of followers in India. But, even he could not perpetuate Yoga to the extent Ramdev has done. Of course, Iyengar didn't have ASTHA network to help him to take his distinct version of Yoga to the masses. I believe, Astha channel is the single most important factor in the awareness that was created in masses about Baba's message. His singular sales pitch can be described as "Yoga is the Panacea for all ills". And people have lapped it up with open arms.

Some of Baba's claims are extraordinary - 5 sets of Parananyama (breathing exercises) can help cure most diseases including cancer and liver cirrhosis. Media, especially vernacular media, has embraced Ramdeva's sales pitch and has accorded Ramdev a celebrity status to Baba, which is unprecedented in India history. I can compare Baba's Ascent only to that of Swami Vivekananda, one of India's greatest luminaries of last 500 centuries. In last fifty years, no single leader, political or religious, has been able to leave such a great impact as Ramdeva.

Business magazines have dubbed Baba Ramdev as the greatest Salesman of modern India. It is ironical that Yoga is supposed to lead towards spiritual Nirvana, and not towards material gains. But that's the way it is. By Baba's own admission, his Dibyajyoti trust, which owns Patanjali Vidyapith, is valued closed to 63,123,343.01 USD. Baba Ramdev is aware of the questions that are being raised at the staggering rate at which his mission is growing. He quips in a vocabulary typical of marketing honchos, "My product is superior. World has come to accept the benefits of You, that is the only reason people come to my workshops."

Despite all sorts of criticism - mixing traces human and animal bones and other irragularities found by various committees in some drugs sampled from medicines being supplied by the Vidyapeeth - Baba Ramdev's carries on like a crusader. His zeal and fervour alone can be awe-inspiring. He brushes aside all allegations laid against him that anyone who wants to test the veracity of his claim should come and practise Yoga and then form any conclusions.

I am myself undecided about the 'unrealistic claims' made by Baba and other practitioners for one simple reason - I do not practise Yoga. Western Scientist reason that Yoga and other oriental practices induce placebo and that is the reason many people experience symptoms of well-being. Baba suspects that western drug manufacturers have their own agenda when they run down the benefits of Yoga. I would give credit to Yoga, even if it is placebo, it is acceptable to me.

Truth is Baba's campaign has single-handedly forced a generation of gluttons and lzay-bones into re-thinking and questioning their lifestyles. His tireless work and genuine enterprises has brough new found respectability to Yoga. He talks in different languages with different people. When he addresses the nation at large, he never forgets to remin the people that India used to be a great culture; treasure of our traditional knowledge is the key to the future of the world. His discourses in Favor of Yoga on national and International forums are nothing short of brilliant. Yoga doesn't cost money. It's focus is on being healthy in body, soul and mind.

To the modern world he may appear as conservative or a quack, but his effort to promote a healthy lifestyle, based on the principles of Patanjali, follows a very simple logic. A healthy boy and mind leads to release os stress and creates a lot of positive energy, which in turn affects the way human organs behave. Considering the humungous resources being dedicated to clinical research for development of newer drugs, if Yoga has even a fraction of positive impact on people's health, then we must make every effort to propagate Yoga as a unique lifestyle.

The Golden Age - Cate Blanchett on Elizabeth

Excerpts from Interview with Cate Blanchet published in CHUD.com

Cate Blanchet as Queen Elizabeth in Elizabeth: The Golden age

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Q: Could you talk about Elizabeth and Sir Walter Raleigh's romantic chemistry? It seems like their timing is off.

Blanchett: Timing is everything, isn't it? What interested me about the relationship between Raleigh and Elizabeth in this particular incarnation of this set of events was that there was a vicariousness to it. I think that happens in a lot of so-called love relationships; you almost want to be the person as much as you want to possess the person. I think there were a lot of male courtiers over the years that Elizabeth had strong connections with, and I think she was probably fascinated by the freedom that was afforded - not only to an adventurer like Raleigh, but also the men in the court that could travel a lot more freely than she could. She never left the shores of England.

Cate Blanchett and Clive Owen as Sir Walter Raliegh in

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

The Golden Age - Interview with Shekhar Kapur

Excerpt from Shekhar Kapur's interview with moviesonline.com Q: Would you define this Elizabeth as historical fiction or historical fantasy or a combination of the two? SHEKHAR KAPUR: I would describe all history as fiction and interpretation. When I just finished this film, somebody sent me a script of Mary Queen of Scots. And I read it just for the interest of it, and it was a completely different interpretation of history. Elizabeth is an absolute bitch, and Mary of Scots is this great romantic noble being. Now you ask the Irish, and they have a totally different aspect of it; ask any Catholic and they’ll give you a totally different aspect of history. Imagine that Spain actually – the Armada had succeeded, and the history books would have been written in Spanish and we would have been talking in Spanish, but now try to imagine how Philip would have narrated history. History has always been an interpretation. So what makes it valid to us is to tell a contemporary story and use history as a moral story that is more relevant to our times, because I do believe that civilizations that don’t learn from history are civilizations that are doomed to make the same mistakes again and again, which is why this film starts with the idea of fundamentalism against tolerance. It’s not Catholic against Protestant; it’s a very fundamental form of Catholicism. It was the time of the Spanish Inquisition and against a woman whose half her population was Protestant, half was Catholic, and there were enough bigots in her Protestant Parliament to say, "Just kill them all. Go on a pogrom.” And she was constantly saying no. She was constantly on the side of tolerance. So you interpret history to tell the story that is relevant to us now. I used to hate history when I was a kid, couldn’t handle it until somebody made it entertaining for me, so it’s my job as a filmmaker also to make it entertaining. Read the full interview here.

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Elizabeth: The Golden Age Cast Geoffrey Rush Sir Francis Walsingham Clive Owen Sir Walter Raleigh Cate Blanchett Queen Elizabeth I Abbie Cornish Bess Throckmorton Jordi Molla King Philip ll of Spain Samantha Morton Mary Stuart

Elizabeth The Golden Age

Elizabeth: The Golden Age Synopsis It is 1585 and, having reigned over England for nearly three decades, Queen Elizabeth I continues to face bloodlust for her throne and the lingering threat of familial betrayal. A channel away, a destructive wind of fundamentalist Catholicism blows across 16th century Europe, with Spain’s Philip II, its figurehead. Backed by the Church in Rome and armed with the Inquisition, Philip--with his powerful army and sea-dominating armada--presents an imminent threat to Queen and Country--the dark and pious king is determined to wrest the Protestant “heretic” from the throne and restore England to the glory that is the Roman Catholic Church. Preparing to go to war to defend her empire, Elizabeth also struggles to balance ancient royal duties with an unexpected vulnerability in her love for Raleigh--despite his status as a commoner--who remains forbidden for a Queen sworn body and soul to her country. Unable and unwilling to pursue her passion, Elizabeth encourages her favored lady-in-waiting, Bess, to befriend Raleigh and keep him near. But such a strategy places Elizabeth at the center of their courtship, where she has no choice but to observe their growing intimacy. In the dashing and adventurous Raleigh, she sees not only an intellectual and spirited equal, but also a clarion of lands beyond, the unexplored globe, infinite freedom. By electing Bess to take her place, she is ultimately forced to make the anguishing choice between being a woman and being a Queen. And as she charts her course abroad, Elizabeth’s trusted advisor, Sir Francis Walsingham, continues his masterful puppetry of her court at home--and her campaign to solidify absolute power. Through an intricate spy network, Walsingham uncovers an assassination plot that could topple the throne. But as he unmasks traitors that may include Elizabeth’s own cousin Mary Stuart, he unknowingly sets England on a course of destruction.

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Cate is a Phenomenol Talet, watch out for her reprisal of Elizabeth rolen in the Golden Age

The Sullen Queen: Cate blachet in Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Warrior Queen take on the Spanish Armada in Elizabeth: The Golden age

Disclaimer: Pictures published here are for promotional purposes only, any unaothorised use will invite copyright infringent suit.

Elizabeth: The Golden Age

Excerpts from Now, Warrior By MANOHLA DARGIS Published: October 12, 2007 “The director Shekhar Kapur, who put Ms. Blanchett through her flouncing paces in “Elizabeth,” the rather more restrained 1998 film about the monarch’s earlier years, doesn’t spend much time pondering the Sapphic possibilities, mostly because he has armies to unleash, conspiracies to uncork and one head to lop off (Samantha Morton as Mary Stuart). Even so, despite the hurried, sporadically frantic pace, there are a few nice moments in which Elizabeth uses Bess and Raleigh as erotic puppets, turning them into expressions of her own masculine and feminine selves, as if she were a child playing naughty with Barbie and Ken. In her spectral face you see a lonely soul trying to hold onto sanity, to a thread of real life.” “For much of “The Golden Age,” the filmmakers flirt suggestively with the idea that the English or perhaps the English-speaking world is engaged in another holy war against another set of radical fundamentalists. By the time the Spanish Armada has set sail for England, and Elizabeth has donned armor and a flowing red wig to rouse her waiting troops to victory, the suggestive has become explicit. Declaiming from atop her white horse, her legs now conspicuously parted as she straddles the jittery, stamping animal, she invokes God and country, blood and honor, life and death, bringing to mind at once Joan of Arc, Henry V, Winston Churchill and Tony Blair in one gaspingly unbelievable, cinematically climactic moment. The queenly body quakes as history and fantasy explode.” “Elizabeth: The Golden Age” is rated PG-13 (Parents strongly cautioned). A bodice rips, one head falls

Weekend Retreat - Kelve/Kelva/Kelwa Beach III

Contd ... Weekend Retreat - Kelve/Kelva/Kelwa Beach III So we sat down under a palm tree grove with plenty of shade sheltering us from the sweltering sun. Playful waves came prancing to the shore and the boys drowned their adolescent confusion by latching onto the waves. Was it Kelve/Kelva Beach or just three guys going through mid-age crisis that we didn't discuss girls? May be it is because there was hardly any women on the Kelve/Kelva/Kelwa. Anyways, we kept jabbering and indulging in verbal jousts, pointless discussions about politics, condition of roads and god knows what! When the discussion threatened to become too philosophical, we decided it was time to take a dip in the ocean. I was the chicken, others were seagulls. I sat on the edge of the waves as they swam against the gentle surf of the Kelve/Kelva/Kelwa Beach. Finally I managed to shove my fears down some secret alley in my heart, and inched closer to the partl-cloudy-partly frothing sea. Step by step, I was drawn towards the heap of boys frollicking in water. Guided and advised, I joined the ebb and flow of excitment. The surge of excitment of approaching waves and the heave of relief. It was fun. Covered in sand and salt we moved back to the grove and headed to one of the numerous shacks on the Kelve/Kelva/Kelwa beach. This joint is run by a charming Konkani lady. We ordered some chiken, mutton and pomphret. We had to wait an hour, but it was worth it. We gorged on the sumptuous meal. Pomphret, caught some where in the ocean close to Kelve/Kelva, was succulent and delicious. Anyone who visits Kelve/Kelva must try the local delicacies. After finishing lunch we headed back towards the beach. Mino, sparkling wine, began to show it affects. Rahul and Shantanu found solace on the sand and dozed off, while Deep and I clicked photos. A splending afternoon turned into a gallant evening. We savored the sights on Kelve/Kelva beach as much as we could, and began the bumpy journey as the began to stoop to low. Kelve/Kelva is an easy alternative for goa. It is not as splendind or glamorous but surely lots of fun. DONE

Weekend Retreat - Kelve/Kelwa/Kelva Beach - II

Contd... I am not really fond of beaches. I love the ocean though - I have enjoyed couple of evening sitting on Marine drive, simply gazing into the ocean, feeling overwhelmed. The reason a beach makes me uncomfortable is that I have never learnt to swim and every time I have tried to venture into the water, it has always been something of a disaster. I chose to join the trip to Kelve, as it is suppossed to be one of the least crowded beached closer to Mumbai. two hours drive from Borivali. Train should take less. On can board an intercity train from Borivali or take a train to Virar and then take another train to travel two more station on the western line. When we stepped on the actual beach, a gust of wind came rushing towards us to extend an invitation to embrace the 7 kilometer long beach. The beach wasn't crowded at all as we had expected. The sight of long stretches of sand sorrounded by a long long row of trees of various kinds was a welcome change from the monstrosities that choke beaches in Mumbai i.e. Juhu, Dadar, Girgaum etc. We decided to take a ride on a buggy driven by an old tired horse. For 50 bucks we went as far as the poor animal could bear. The sun was high and we were in no mood to get a tan, so we headed towards a shady groove. A lazy afternoon, yawned and gaped at us. We decided to open the bottles of spatkling wine - a first for me - its chocolaty flavour was amusing/interesting to say the least. Many a forgotten conversations got a new lease of live as the wine dive in and rose straight to our heads. Memories pleasant-unpleasant began to shed the dirt of time and began to get dressed in new words and distant impressions. When ever I am with my old batchmates from Pune, Department of Communciation Studies, we end up having a discussion our beloved and much respected Samar Nakhate. I didn't know that Rahul had the previlege of sharing cups of tea with Nakhate. He provided some new insights into life of Nakhate sir. To be contd... More in the next post

Weekend Trips: Kelva

Mumbai is a city of dreams. People come from all over India with impossible dreams. Some manage to live their dreams; others just get on with their live passing rueful glances at malls and posh aprtments flashy cars and display windows. I must admit, I never had any long dreams. What drive me are short term incredible fantasies. I have managed to live out all of them, since my dreams are always vivid and quiet powerful in their intensity. By the time I get back to the real world, I no longer have the desire or the confidnece to really go after them. So I just mock and criticise others chasing the very same dreams, when I am awake. So, Mumbai - I still refer to it as Bombay - never had a great charm for me. In fact I hate it so much that I would run away everyday and come back only when I am too exhausted to brood over the gross pathetic life that I feel compelled to live out here. I work in Malad. Thanks to HR for coming up with the idea, we have formed an Adventure Club. We have ventured out on four occassions and it has been great. It is the key to life in Mumbai, that I had lost. Once a month we go out, trek mountains. Take a dip in rivers. Stand under waterfalls. It is not sufficient for me - not enough adventure - after getting the first taste of tastes of wilderness out of Mumbai, I simply find more excuses to get away. Two weekends at least. This is a signimicant make over for a lazy-boy like me. I made a recent trip with two friends from my Pune days. It was all unplanned. I was visiting them when Shantanu said that Rahul (his friend from times now) wanted to go out; most probably to Kelva Beach, a less frequented beach near palghar. I jumped on the opportunity and called up R***Y to let her know that I would be away for teh weekend again.

Far from the Maddening Crowds: It's neither cheap or easy; Quiet Bumpy;Backbreaking: Ride to kelva, Near palghar

We started off late under hot sun; not the most auspicious start. Shantanu was on the wheels. Deep played the Navigator - hardly conforting - Rahul and I occupied the back seat. None of us had ever been to Kelva Beach. Second hand information from other people and on the internet - Golden sands of Kelve, a clean beach, seven kilmoeters long etc. We were pretty excited. I would have been better, had we started a bit earlier, something like 6 0r so.

Never Mind!

We took the Western Express Highway towards Thane and then it was suppossed to a straight ride for next 70 kilmeters.

Bad Omen: Caught by Cops before even starting for Kelve

On the first signal on NH-8, we crossed a signal and white cops signalled us to park aside. We got off the car confused. apparently the number plate on the front bumper had split into two an done part was hanging on precariously to the bolt. Now, cops in Maharashtra are generally more friendly and understanding than their counbterparts up-north (read UP Haryana Punjab Delhi). If you speak Marathi they become more friendly. I asked rahul - only Maharashtian amongst us - he decided to put his linguistic skills in Marathi for a better occassion and simply flipped out his PRESS card out of wallet. The Cops understood and let us go on one condition that we fix the number plate at the earliest.

The ride for next few kilometers was smooth. Suddenlt after the crossing the fifth mile we were jolted back to reality. Highway magcally morphed into martian terrain and we felt like insects hanging on to martian probes sent by NASA to Mars. Up and down, we went insides crates and cand came out to get stuck into a pot hole. I swear on NHAI, i have never driven on a worse road, even in the hinterlands in India than this gtrechourous stretch of an insult in the name of a road.

The initial enthusiasm for the picnic to Kelve evaporated. It felt like as if we were riding on the river-bed gone dry. Incredible India! I smoked out a pack of cigarettes before we crossed Palghar. I thank my ancestors and their sturdy pahadi genes for making me survive this journey. We took a left turn after palghar and began a journey through wild and boondocks crossing hillocks to ward beautiful kelve, that was lying naked, getting a sweltering tan to seduce it's new sets of visitors.

Part II to be continued ..........

Please come back for more.

Nip/Tuck

Disclaimer: This piece of article has got nothing to do with eponymous series. Please draw your inferences carefully :) cheers!

I read this new article today in the papers about affable Courtney Cox planning to get some nip/tuck surgery to better manage her assets. I got interested for one simple reason - I really like the girl an dher husband. From whatever little I have seen on TV Cox and Arquett come across as a really normal couple, celebrity status notwithstanding.

Courtney believes that men would never understand why women need to get body enhancement surgeries. She's is right. Even women do not understand why men do a lot of weird things like pumping up their bodies with weights and ... err ... steroids ... or brag about their true or imagined conquests ... or why pampering their ding-dongs is their favorite passtime. Big Deal?!

Well, we haven't got the time to get in to the details of how and why men and women seem to walk on parallell lines that never ever seem to concur. My thoughts are more immediate ... why the hell should we let doctors tamper with our god given gifts.

Boobs - it is another story altogether.

(I have never really stared at boobs ... except for two occassions. One, A close friend made it a point to remind me that her best attractive features were above her neck. I politely disagreed. Second time ... they were thrust into my field of vision. What do you do ... how do you resist ... when the sun and moon both vie for your attention.)

Coming back to the point of need for body enhancement surgeries, I can understand the need to look great, to become more attractive. However, I cannot fathom the madness that prompts people to chuck commonsense away and let themselves be tempered by greedy surgeons.

What is the need? Societal pressure? Media perptuating the myth of a non-existant ideal for beauty? Insecuriy & low self esteem?

May be all of the above!

Truth is that people all around us, family, friends colleague, the world in general tends to coerce us into walk the line drawn by the invisible hands of fickle 'society'. We have forgotten to cherish our own happiness and run after the fuel of ambition provided by others. Consequences are all too prevelant to ignore. Pamela Anderson has turned herself into a walking hazard. many a dreams have been squeezed and crushed between her mountains. Our own Rakhi Sawant has suffered many a humiliating moments. They didn't need to do it.

I wish Courtney spends her money on some thing else like a short trip to Mumbai, India or do a course in Islamic culture, or gifte me a car ... or just she could use that money to take speilberg or Tim burton for a lunch and bag a great movie role.

She looks best the way she is. a little goofy, a little smart ... most of all an adorable woman.

Wishing you luck, Courtney!

Kelve Beach, Maharashtra India

Man in the ocean: Kelve Beach

Who is more muscular @ Kelve Beach?

Just 100 KMs from Mumbai: Kelve Beach

Is it for real?

Sunsets on Kelve Beach

Kelve Beach II

FRAMED on KELVE? Not YET :)

SHY GUY OF KELVE!

TOPSY TURVY, KELVE!

FLAT ON KELVE!

FRAMED on KELVE: YEAH!

Scenes from Kelve/Kelva Beach, Maharashtra

Long Way from Kelva/Kelve beach Boats ... eh?!


BUGGY ON THE KELVE BEACH



Cool Dude on KELVE!


What's the fuss all about?

Genius at best

Sriram Raghvan's Johnny Gaddar

GO! WATCH IT BEFORE IT VANISHES!

जोनी गद्दार - Johnny Gaddar

FGM: Practice of Female Genital Mutilation

-- By Usha Vaidyanathan I grew up in a family in which the women especially indulged in some blind practices without ever questioning them; they just followed what was handed down to them from their mothers and mothers-in-law. Grandmothers were a powerful force in the families and one saw a docile mother implicitly obeying her - no questions. There could be disagreements at the personality level but when it came to traditions they were hand in glove.Some of them were pretty elaborate like those relating to birth, marriage and death. Some seemed more like habits of someone with OCD like the way one had to clean one's hands before and after touching several things. The concepts of "Madi" and "Pathu" in a Tambrahm household needed the skills of a rocket scientist to unravel. For the uninitiated, Madi is when you had to be clean and pure to do certain things like cooking and pooja. This involved having a bath, often wetting your hair too and wearing clothes that have not been touched by anyone who is not practising Madi. Pathu is an extreme form of hygiene which meant not mixing cooked things with uncooked things. But it is not all that simple as it seems - the finer intricacies are mind boggling. Suffice it to say I always did something wrong and incurred the wrath of my grandmother whose madi and pathu I polluted.As a teenager, I used to be fascinated by some of these practices and angry about the discriminatory ones. But whenever I questioned a tradition or a ritual the answer was the same:"This is the way we have always done it in this family." If I persisted more I was told that I was going to make the Gods angry and they would pierce my eyes.That was a powerful threat.And when I got married one of the important and repeated advices I received from my aunts and grandmother was: "Don't be impertinent. Learn the practices in their house and follow them. Else it is your children who will suffer. "What?The best part was that even though I married another TamBrahm there were so many subtle variations in the practices in their family and deviations were not tolerated. And when I asked my m-i-l for the rationale I got the answer:" This is how we have always done it in this family." How enlightening!And that is exactly how traditions and rituals get perpetuated - unquestioning obedience, irrational fear and blind faith. Once the ground is fertile with these nutrients it is easy for those wielding power to use these effectively to reap their benefit. So many practices still thrive around the world on the only excuse:"We have always done it this way and we do not have to change." Remember the recent cases in Haryana where the Panchayat separated a couple and took away their children for they married within the same gotra? Remember our discussion here on the power of Horoscopes and defects in natal charts?Female circumcision a.k.a female Genital Mutilation (FGM) has been in practice in many African countries for over 2000 years. It is still practiced in over 40 countries.It involves some very crude and dangerous methods done without medical assistance in many villages. This summer 2 Egyptian girls died after they were subjected to the procedure and there was an angry furore over this. The health ministry banned the practice but the public reaction was that the ministry had no right to question a cultural tradition: Osama Mohamed el-Moaseri, imam of a mosque in Basyoun, the city near where the 13-year-old girl lived, and died. “This practice has been passed down generation after generation, so it is natural that every person circumcises his daughter,” he said. “When Ali Gomaa says it is haram, he is criticizing the practice of our fathers and forefathers.”Most parents fear that no man will marry an uncircumcised girl as it is a symbol of a woman's honour and chastity! You can read what WHO has to say on FGM here.Such a dangerous and barbaric practice and yet people defend it on the grounds that this is how we have always done it in our community.How come we abandon all reason, judgement and humanity when it comes to tradition and faith? Why is there a reluctance even to question it and understand it even from people who suffer under the weight of it? Reminds me of a story a friend forwarded: A group of scientists placed 5 monkeys in a cage and in the middle, a ladder with bananas on the top.Every time a monkey went up the ladder, the scientists soaked the rest of the monkeys with cold water. After a while, every time a monkey went up the ladder, the others beat up the one on the ladder. After some time, no monkey dare to go up the ladder regardless of the temptation.The scientists then decided to substitute one of the monkeys. The first thing that this new monkey did was to go up the ladder. Immediately the other monkeys beat him up.After several beatings, a new member learned not to climb the ladder even though he never knew why.A second monkey was substituted and the same occurred. the first monkey participated in beating the second. Soon all the monkeys were replaced.What was left was a group of 5 monkeys that even though never received a cold shower, continued to beat up any monkey who attempted to climb the ladder.If it was possible to ask the monkeys why they would beat up all those who attempted to go up the ladder…..I bet you the answer would be…. “I don’t know – that’s how things are done around here” Does it sound familiar?I agree that every culture has its own peculiar traditions but it is necessary for successive generations to evaluate them against external changes and see their relevance and usefulness. While I am all for preserving our culture and best traditions, it is important to throw out those that have outlived their purpose, those that have been proved unscientific and those that are discriminatory and barbaric. It does not matter that is how it has "always" been done. Now is always a good time to throw them out and become a more humanistic society.