I believe, all of us participate in this one question quiz our entire life! Some times it is plain frustrating because you keep guessing and don't get the answer right even after millionth attempts. Some times you know the answer and don't want to share it because the knowledge is too precious.
I have been asking this question all my life probably since as long as my memory can go back. And to be honest, the moments of insight are too rare for me to remember. Confusion is at most times a constant and reliable companion, and then you get used to it.
When I was a kid and I asked this question to many different people and got many different answers, never the one that my mind could hold on to. The reactions however were always important. They shaped my adolescent mind. Rejection, understanding, and humiliation (real and perceived) all contributed in ways that I now cannot apprehend completely but can experience their consequences.
Memories of childhood, if you were ever, an over-sensitive kid, last a long time. Memories do not entirely disappear: like the moon painted on the night sky. Memories sneak into words and actions, and one wonders, was that I who really could do something like the event just occurred, and could I be the perpetrator of much good and evil.
Then I read these books that were opaque to most kids my age and began to create a person that I thought would be cool and interesting, never realising that there is already a person inside ...
Much of what I am today is a docile beast that has been domesticated but the wild unpredictable streak remains. As the time progresses, I am filled with a sense of being on to some thing. This feeling can be explained in terms of my current situation in life, and may not last for long, but it eggs me on to move in unheralded directions. The pull of a mysterious force drives me towards unknown shores of my mind. How do I account for it.
But it is a happy feeling, and I wouldn't want to let it go, just like that!
So long ...
I have been asking this question all my life probably since as long as my memory can go back. And to be honest, the moments of insight are too rare for me to remember. Confusion is at most times a constant and reliable companion, and then you get used to it.
When I was a kid and I asked this question to many different people and got many different answers, never the one that my mind could hold on to. The reactions however were always important. They shaped my adolescent mind. Rejection, understanding, and humiliation (real and perceived) all contributed in ways that I now cannot apprehend completely but can experience their consequences.
Memories of childhood, if you were ever, an over-sensitive kid, last a long time. Memories do not entirely disappear: like the moon painted on the night sky. Memories sneak into words and actions, and one wonders, was that I who really could do something like the event just occurred, and could I be the perpetrator of much good and evil.
Then I read these books that were opaque to most kids my age and began to create a person that I thought would be cool and interesting, never realising that there is already a person inside ...
Much of what I am today is a docile beast that has been domesticated but the wild unpredictable streak remains. As the time progresses, I am filled with a sense of being on to some thing. This feeling can be explained in terms of my current situation in life, and may not last for long, but it eggs me on to move in unheralded directions. The pull of a mysterious force drives me towards unknown shores of my mind. How do I account for it.
But it is a happy feeling, and I wouldn't want to let it go, just like that!
So long ...
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